Recently, Emma has been so unreasonable and totally self centered. She blames me constantly for things that have occurred 10 years ago. She rants and raves, waking everyone early in the morning before the sun has risen. She walks out of the house swearing, screaming and crying. Police have been called to our house on some occasions.
Although my hatred and anger toward her have been wiped away, her behavior is affecting me and I can feel a vise grip of stress on my neck and shoulders. I know the brain treatment that I am going through is helping me, but Emma is still very manic. On the positive side, there are moments that we have that she is more normal, though these occur if she has been made happy by a purchase of a meal or item by myself for her. These moments are rare, and too fleeting to cherish.
Meanwhile, my husband’s disease is still looming over us. Sometimes there are setbacks, and sometimes there are little victories. The setbacks are what cause my body and mind to go into a state of panic and heartache, and when Emma starts throwing her manic tantrums during these setbacks, I feel as if I will go over the edge and lose it myself.
By the grace of God, and believing that all things shall pass, I will get through this.