For months, I have been consumed with anger toward’s Emma. I was full of hatred towards this selfish, self-centered, arrogant, accusatory young woman who would throw adult tantrums of ranting, yelling, and swearing. Her erratic behavior would get worse and worse, and my own anger and hatred grew.
I knew this was very toxic for her. It was toxic for me and anyone in our household. I could not control it.
I found a brain treatment that is primarily for PTSD patients. A 10 session series of therapy involving audio sounds and music with either visualization or flashing light patterns, all the while having sensor pads on various parts of my head to monitor activity. I had heard that this therapy worked well for people under stress. I definitely qualified as a person under extreme stress, to the point of rage.
After just 2 sessions, my hatred and anger towards Emma melted away. On that day, I apologized to her, “I am sorry I have been so angry and mean to you.” On the next day, I said “I love you, Emma.” This may not seem like much to you, but for me, it was huge. Not sure of its impact on Emma, for she still continues to rant and be unhappy, but her outbursts and behavior in the house have improved quite substantially. I am able to not react in anger.
Much of the negative energy in our home was from me. Now that it has been removed, perhaps the healing of our sick daughter’s mind can have a chance.